these bishounen-filled days

yup, that's right. i'm being hounded by bishounens left and right. of course, i've been in anime heaven these past few days what with the cable and good anime being shown on tv, plus my collection of still unwatched anime vcds. it's good to be here at home. and right now, i'm downloading the episode guides for gensomaden saiyuki, plus images of these really, um, goodlooking, albeit, unreal guys.



i've just found the series engaging now when before, karen was already watching it. the characters are drawn in a different way here. it's just that the drawings of the characters make them look thin, like they were transparent. anyway, the travel travails of these four guys, one monk and 3 demons, make for a really good laugh some episodes and interesting stories to tell. plus, they got a killer 2nd opening theme song. and the video segment for this one is quite funny since the characters looked like they were posing for some mag, like they were pop superstars, but nevertheless, the bishounen that they are supposed to be. Ü



i'm also watching slam dunk and get backers. the latter one, however, has quite a sketchy sequence nowadays since animax, due to the christmas specials, has decided to jump some episodes. now going back, later going forward. but it's still fun.



so you see, it was really just me who got myself involved with all these bishounens. plus, i'm still gonna watch angel sanctuary. though it's bitin.



***



from a member of an ML i belong in:



To forget the thing that binds you fast,

To the vain regrets of the year that's past;

To have the strength to let go of your hold,

Of the not worth-while of the days grown old,

To dare to go forth with a purpose true,

To the unknown task of the year that's new;

To help your sister/brother along the road,

To her/his work and lift her/his load,

To add your gift to the world's good cheer,

Is to have and to give a HAPPY NEW YEAR!



***

from a survey i recently posted on friendster:





last time na umabay ka?

: umabay? ang lalim po ata ng tagalog nito..



kaninong boses gusto mo?

: lilo's voice actor, mmm...wala akong gaanong

maisip ngayon..



laman ng wallet mo?

: pera, coin purse lang e



first CD u bought?

: pirated CD ng isang pinoy rap group



gusto mong kainin ngayong panahon na ito?

: pancit palabok



magkano nauubos mong load sa isang week?

: around P50 cguro



languages na alam mo?

: filipino/tagalog, english, pangasinan



summer o rainy?

: summer!



best wish that other wished you?

: that other wished me? hmm...eto: *check ko

muna inbox ko* it's all of 18 summers ago when u

came to life that was a great bundle of joy for me

and mommy. have a nice, memorable and

wonderfuly birthday!



favrit subject dis sem?

: cw 10, fs 116



favri prof?

: sir butch



movie na nagpaiyak sayo?

: hanggang luha lang naman ako, mejo marami

din..



anong gusto mo new fon oh daming load?

: new phone!



jewelry na hindi mo tinatanggal sa ktawan mo?

: wala



pano ka magalet?

: hindi nagsasalita



fevrit movie lines?

: marami, from my fave movies. i really love that

poem in iambic pentameter from 10 things i hate

about you which i got to watch again yesterday



may friend ka bang gay?

: gay, mron..



sanay kbang magtong-its?

: ung wala lang sugal.



zodiac sign mo?

: pisces



element mo?

: i took this quiz on blogthings.com and it says

water. swak din nman ung mga descriptions.



hair color?

: black



biggest scar?

: on my left wrist



member ka ng anong video rental shop?

: video city, dagupan



ano pakiramdam ng nagseselos?

: naiinis, gustong magalit



ano pakiramdam ng in-love?

: i guess you just feel so good..ewan, di ko pa

nararanasan yan e..



nakasakay kna sa Love-Train?

: nope



tipo mong babae/lalaki?

: in terms of what? basta okay kausap..



malinaw ba mata mo?

: mabuti naman at oo



bass, baritone, tenor, alto, soprano?

: soprano?!?



mayabang kba?

: unconsciously, i guess



suplada ka ba?

: i don't think so



mapagbigay kaba?

: yes!



piercings?

: two on each ear



yosi?

: nope, pampaiksi ng buhay..besides any kind of

smoke suffocates me.

the vastness debut

here's something i read on my friendster bulletin board, probably it's most abused feature, which was posted by r.a. i think he overheard it and the question went like this:



how do i face my problem if my problem is my face?



harhar! but that was just in my head. i didn't burst out into one big, uncontrollable laugh. gensomaden saiyuki, however, could make me do just that.



***



the new year is upon us. so HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! the bulletin board is being flooded with new year's greetings, as well as e-groups and probably later on, cellphone networks. a few more hours, roughly eight hours, and it's goodbye 2004 and hello 2005!



another year for everyone of us to take note of our past experiences and traverse another 365 days to make a difference and effect change and progress. slightly monumental but always possible. so everyone, make your mark. don't let it the year just slip by. if you had regrets the past years, try to spend each day for what it's worth.



***



a change of name. it's more descriptive for me. does the mood of this blog need to be dark? i certainly thought so when i first thought up "whirling into nothingness". i envisioned a black background but doesn't every other blogger have that nowadays? besides, i really like my blog's current color. then just awhile ago, i typed in "whirling into the vastness" as my blog's title. the width of the header didn't agree with it, especially because there was a space in between each of the letters. anyhow, i'm staying with trapped in the v a s t n e s s. the vastness being this fundamental organ of the homo sapien that is the brain, my languid existence, this habitually tiring society, this nondescript, all-encompassing world, the entire incomprehensible cosmos.

christmas and the day after

christmas day has come and gone. what happened pretty much happens every year. after breakfast with the foodstuffs we ate during our early noche buena, we went to church then went to city mall where daddy bought new clothes. karen and i were also able to buy new pants on discount. however, rj was no longer feeling well that time.



with the car's door mistakenly closed on him when we were about to leave the church, he was in a bad mood that lasted almost the whole afternoon.



when we got home, we opened the gifts under the christmas tree. rj didn't open his due to the previous incident. the rest of us, however, did open our gifts and got our pictures taken (a yearly ritual that goes back for as long as i can remember). i got some new socks and undies from santa clause. then we were also given a ping pong set. sadly however, i was no longer able to make a christmas card.



after not being able to finish laputa: castle in the sky due to a corrupted second disc (laputa is like atlantis up in the clouds with way advanced technology and treasures of its own, albeit a declining or almost non-existent populace - i wouldn't know since i didn't get to finish it), i went outside and rj was shooting some hoops. mom, dad, rj & kevin were sitting on the chairs eating and reading. then i joined him in shooting and he's already improved. eventually, the four of us were shooting already. we played 2 rounds; in the first one, karen won and in the next one, i won. it was really a delight since kevin is the best shooter among us and we thought we'd be toasted by him but unexpectedly, karen and i did well.Ü



afterwards, we played a game of two-on-two with karen and i teaming up and the two boys on their own, coming to that arrangement by way of the old-fashioned ompiang. we had a race to six points but it took us a very long time. nevertheless, it was a great exercise and we lost a good amount of sweat. we were also having great fun and it was a good way for the four of us to spend time together. we were playing until before 7. then at 7:30 pm, rj, karen and i watched finding nemo. i was able to watch this before on pirated vcd but i didn't enjoy it much then. but now, it was really funny and it's a really great animation. i love it! it's now on my favorite movies list.



after that, we proceeded to watch national treasure. they've been clamoring for it so my mom bought a pirated copy. however, when we put in the first disc, what was showing was blade iii: trinity so we just watched it since mom also bought a copy of that one along with the polar express. i, however, due to lack of sleep or whatever slept not yet midway into the first disc. so it came to pass that i haven't laid my eyes on a complete blade film yet. not the first, nor the second which mom also bought a copy, and not the third, too. something must be wrong with the film. so i slept early last night. it was 11 pm when i went to bed. and then i woke up a bit cold and early this morning.



we had a breakfast of pancit and bread. then we went to church once more. and dropped by nepo mall coz mommy said they were going to buy gizzards. and i asked them to buy some chichirya too.

christmas day

it's officially christmas day! we ate our noche buena some 30 minutes ago because my mom wanted to rest a bit earlier. i was still full from what i've eaten during afternoon snacks and dinner so i didn't eat much awhile ago. we had sisig (yum yum! this is the original one, not unlike those sold in cafeterias which no longer taste like sisig), hotdog, roll cake, puto and crema de fruta. this has been our most sparse noche buena meal. before we would have spaghetti, chicken or ham and other stuffs. today it's only like this. but we do have some macaroni salad stored in the refrigerator and tomorrow, or later this morning, mom will cook some pancit. there are also some gifts under the christmas tree but they have no names yet. santa clause will make a surprise appearance later to label our gifts, hehe.



there wasn't much noise as december 25 approached. during the previous years, there were a lot of firecrackers going off in the neighborhood. now, it seems only 1 or 2 households are setting off firecrackers and they're just few in number like around 5 since i realized that there was no noise in the neighborhood at this time.



lots of people have been texting christmas messages and greetings. the earliest one i received was at 2 am yesterday from ate issa. talk about beating the christmas rush in mobile service providers. i've already replied to each and everyone of them.



the three have already prepared christmas cards. it's been a tradition that for every significant occasion here in the house like birthdays of parents, fathers' and mothers' day and christmas day, the children just give them cards instead of gifts. it's been like that ever since. but i've run out of ideas for making cards. only karen seems to be enjoying the challenges brought about by her different visions of the card she's going to make. she's the most artistic one of us. anyway, we usually give them on christmas morning. but i don't have one yet. and if i do make one, it's just gonna be reminiscent of my christmas cards past so what am i going to do?

silence

i want silence. however at this time of day, you can't have that luxury with everyone here doing a bunch of things. you can't keep to yourself alone which is what i need so that i could write properly. i was able to write my last post on a nighttime and with the utmost silence. what about now?



karen, rj and kevin are going to watch weiss kreuz which is one that i wanted to watch too. but, i gotta get back to this and try to write with all these distractions.



mars' latest message on my tagboard kind of struck me. i wasn't really affected by it much. i've come to that thought plenty of times in the past but it's only now that somebody said those to me. but i do know that that's true and i'm aware of it because when people talk to me, we usually speak about that person's situations or other people's or various stuff but only so little about me. and it's also common that friends talk about things happening in their lives or whatever. yes, i do that. but i don't really lay it all out in the open. usually, what i talk about or those that are happening in the present, or those things that are just on the surface. i don't talk much about my dreams, my utmost concerns, my, erm, infatuations... i just think that if people want to know, they should just ask, so i never volunteer any information about me. but why is that so? i guess it's just the very nature of me.



early on in my childhood, i was never a very playful nor a noisy child. the earliest i could remember was when i was around 4. the previous years were just a blur. that's when my sister was born. i remember dad bringing mom and i to the hospital when it was near for karen's birth. then we have a baby in the house. that's also my earliest memory of my mom and dad. i've been with dad 3 months afer i was born but mommy had to get back to saudi because she's working as a nurse when she gave birth to me there so i think she came back around 1989, just enough for karen to be born on march the next year. but i do not have any recollection of the events during that part of my life so i can't really tell what kind of kid i was. but when i was 4, i know i wasn't the noisy type. i don't have many friends. i don't go out of the house and play with neighbors. i only did play with one but not much. i also had a guy cousin who came around the house when we were classmates in kinder and prep but still, it didn't make me the typical kid and after that, that cousin of mine and i haven't improved our ties. we're still cousins though we are worlds apart from each other, which kind of goes true with many other of my cousins. we're a reclusive family you might say. well, those are what the circumstances brought about. we didn't grow up with our cousins around much. so it's usually ourselves. and we didn't grow up fighting with each other. we are peaceful children. we do quarrel but there are no shouting matches and those quarrels don't last a day. i've got to say i'm really happy about that.



and then there's school. i could say i went to a pretty excellent primary school. that's where i learned to keep quiet when somebody else is talking in front which up to now i still usually do. i don't like missing out on what the teacher is saying so i really don't like making small talk to or listening to stories from classmates during classes.



i've fancied myself as an "absorber" during the years that i've realized what i do. i just listen to the story, nod in agreement or throw in a comment or two and if the recounting ends, usually i have nothing much to say, not much of my own experience to share. so it ends there. i don't dole out facts about me in turn. so what does that make me? a really quiet person. i believe if people would be asked what they knew about me, they'd say that i was a classmate or so-so and that i listened to their stories, accompanied them on whatever, but nothing really concrete about my life. perhaps they could say something about my personality but not my personal life.

growing up

growth and development hound me these past few days. since i went to study in the well-known public school near ateneo, i only get to see my siblings - a sister and two brothers all having a one-year difference with the one next to them and i a four-year difference with the oldest of them which is the girl - only during sembreaks and christmas breaks. rarely do i see them during the duration of the sem. that is if there are no holidays on mondays or whatever. besides, even if i could, i can't just go home every weekend because it will be a big burden on our pockets. so i just content myself on getting by without seeing them or my whole family, for that matter, very much. but i'm going farther from what i intended to contemplate about here.



the past year, i've seen those young ones - why karen is 14 yrs. old and in 3rd year high school, rj is a sophomore high school student and kevin is a freshman, all of them in the same high school that i graduated in - grow taller than me and as a result, i end up being teased because i'm shorter than them. hehe, i even wrote that on kevin's profile in friendster which he recently acquired. anyway, last saturday, kevin and mommy happened to stand in front of a full length mirror and it was there kevin saw that he has outgrown mommy already. and so they have, the three of them. the only one that they have yet to outgrow is daddy.



i've had my growth spurt when i was still in elementary so there's no chance of me growing anymore, at least, in lengthwise fashion. i would not want to think what would happen if i increase in size in a crosswise fashion. but those guys have a long way more to go. i wouldn't be surprised if karen would reach the model height of 5'8" (i'd like to see her be a model, too, if that happens), or that kevin would eventually be an advantage to a basketball team because of his height as well as his skills or that rj would have a muscular, toned body in place of all the fats because he no longers grows wider but taller. but more than that, changes within and without them have been taking place.



of karen, we've seen them quite a long time ago when she started menstruating. and nothing much has changed with her attitude. only now that she's a responsible person especially in school because she had a lot of positions in different school organizations and she still has to keep up with her grades and i find her working harder than i ever did back in high school, and she's still in 3rd year. i don't remember myself working ever so hard that year. however, with the two younger boys, their changes are very remarkable nowadays. it must seem so to me because i no longer see them on a daily basis but it's really interesting to see the changes taking place with them. i learned through the mail that kevin has started to wear accessories like necklaces and bracelets as well as shades. it started with just using the body spray ice gave him for his last birthday. then the boys started to acquire more clothes with kevin, our youngest, being more picky with what he wants to wear, just like me. nowadays, he wants his clothes paired, as in terno, like the shirt and the shorts/pants should have something common between them, as my mom has observed. rj doesn't have the same attitude towards clothes, but i observed that he now wears pants more often and that he's now wearing closed shoes to church, as opposed to the open sandals he used to wear.



rj now wants to play basketball usually with kevin. he also has learned to play table tennis. he also just asked me to buy a harmonica and he's making progress, says the music critic in me. he's actually quite clever in discovering how things work and how to go through different puzzles like discovering a way out to the next level in computer games - some things which i admit i'm not very gifted at - though he doesn't really get top grades in school. he also likes to play chess and he's actually gone on to beat me. he's even tried to participate in their last intramurals by playing a match to determine who would be their year level representative. he lost however, due to a mistake in the placing of his queen so he didn't get to play. he has also made a choice of musical preference and has been playing r&b, hiphop and rap tunes here in the house as opposed to my and kevin's penchant for rock music. however, he still has those silly remarks and questions of his as well as his stubborn temper - i can't quite get the exact words to tell you about it yet - which shows that he's not yet fully matured but is well on his way.



kevin has now identified rock artists that he likes though they're still based from mainstream music that reaches our city in packets, and not as a whole. he also just bought a cap, a black one which he says is his favorite color that goes with his black pants and his black rubber shoes. and i don't think he would approve anymore of a semi-kalbo haircut, more so if he knows he's gonna see his friends around. and also due to the pimples on his face, he now sports wackier or goofier or "older" expressions of disbelief on his face. i just saw a picture of his during his birthday last may and it's been a really great change. he still looked like a very innocent child there and now, some seven months later, it's as if a great many years have passed by already. he's also been trying to get me to split with him on a skateboard. he didn't use to ask me for money before but occasionally, now he does, though he isn't an extravagant spender like me. yesterday, i had agreed to an 80-20 split, to which he didn't but just awhile ago, he said he would just buy one with his own money. and yeah, he's been spending a lot more time in front of the mirror, checking his hair, if they were flat or spiky, checking his face for pimples and whatnots, and basically just admiring himself. he's also quite a capable basketball player and a diligent student. he would join karen when the exams are coming up and together, they would conquer the night and burn some midnight oils.



these are just bits and pieces of these guys just at the brink of reaching the peak of puberty. may i have the pleasure of seeing them through and finding out how wonderful people they've become. i ask you all to join me in this endeavor.



                  

                      "i am my brother's keeper"

bassist

this is now official: if i am to play the guitar in a band, i want to be the bass player. yup, those smooth sounds created under layers of distortions and high-pitched riffs really do appeal to me. i wanna learn to play the bass. i just watched bamboo in myx's orig 'to concert on tv with my bro and nathan did a good solo on one song which i think was noypi. and i think he's a good bassist. and of course, there's nu rock awards bassist of the year buddy zabala. he's been dishing out exceptional bass lines through the years he's been playing with the eheads and it's only now his talent is recognized. there's also mikey, my orgmate who's got fingers so delightful they run over the fretboard and back again and all the while providing color to the songs. then i also find this pinoy j-rock band's bassist awfully good. he played at the anime convention by up ame. the band was rotschrek - at least that's what i think the spelling was - who had a vocalist that sent females screaming their lungs out. he's really tall, slender, wears shades, and has shoulder length hair braided and tied in a pony the last time i saw him. he said their name refers to beings who are afraid of light, like vampires. unlikely enough, only the vocalist was the one who dressed like one. all the others were typical boys in worn jeans and generic shirts. their bassist probably is a member of up ame. and since they were playing rock, he had a lot of riffs going on. there were even times that he would do solos and not their lead guitarist. and due to the fast tempo, his fingers were really quick and unyielding, delivering all the necessary notes. he doesn't look awfully good but i could get a crush on him just by his playing.

gift-giving

i got a blue eyeshadow from my roommate alessa for our exchange gift ceremony in the boarding house. it included our landlady tita bel, our landlady's help ate fe and our landlady's daughter-in-law ate au as well as the four of us roommmates. an interesting thing for me since i haven't used one before, and besides, it's blue hehe. i was the one who picked ate au's name so i gave her a mug, one thing that seems to be in season for giving, after photo frames, mirrors and photo albums of christmases long past. besides, it's a safe one since she's a mother of three and i don't really know her do i know what to give to a mom.



i have one other gift to give, this time for our exchange gift ceremony in subol. i haven't thought of what to give yet since the party is still on the 23rd. however, i still don't have any ideas thinking about it now because i haven't really got a chance to get to know her. probably in the next few days, i'll come up with something.Ü



still on the subject of gifts, i got this idea from koosie because she said every other blog contains a christmas wishlist already, which i readily doubt coz' i didn't have one yet. so now i'm having one:



a list for christmas

1. my own digital camera - anybody willing to give me advice or discount?

2. a new cd-rom drive for our pc at home

3. do my assignment for chem

4. finish the lab report for chem

5. read the witching hour, interview with the vampire and agatha christie's curtain, poirot's last case

6. read the house on mango street, required for cw10

7. plenty of exercise - braces aren't very effective mind you. you could still eat although you can't do much of it right away after being adjusted but afterwards, it's still going to be swell. and now that there's lots of foodstuffs within my reach, i hate to think i'll go back to up next year heavier than when i left. i envy cara...

8. watch hellsing, serial experiments lain, laputa, fatal fury and weiss kreuz

9. watch a few good movies

10. keep up a daily blog entry - so that i'll have something to show as my journal when the new year wheels around. we're required to keep one for cw and i'm actually enjoying it but since my prof due to something hasn't been able to place mine outside of his office to which i've been coming back to for at least 3 days.

11. watch the nu rock awards on mtv on the 26th of december

12. play the guitar and piano, and learn some chops on my bro's new harmonica, the one i bought for him at jb

13. send in an entry on metroactive mag's trip for two to el nido, palawan contest

14. do some self-motivation stuff; reevalute myself; find happiness in simple things; cherish all that i have

15. oh yeah, i need to lose weight! i'm feeling fat for my height so exercise, exercise, exercise!

16. do some more bonding with classmates, friends and of course, my family

17. do some sketches - an artist on the way, yeah!

18. write

19. stop feeling like a moron every other day so that i could enjoy my two-week vacation



remember, i'm gonna pack all these stuff into the two weeks or so that i get before classes. haha! so this is all that i could think of for now. i've got lots of books here, lots of good music to accompany me during this nu107-less vacation, and my family that i miss and love. so happy gift-giving!

tragic christmas

yesterday morning, i learned that kc de venecia, the younger of the two children of joe and gina de venecia perished in a fire that resulted from their christmas lights in their home in an exclusive village in makati. i couldn't believe she was dead as soon as i heard about it. she was still young - only 16 years old - and she was the least of all people you would expect who would turn up in the news in a tragic way. i also felt a bit of sympathy as joe de venecia is our district's congressman in pangasinan. this after fpj's death earlier this week with his fans and those other people he had touched coming in droves to the sto. domingo church to pay their last respects. now fpj is another. who would have thought that he would be in a coma then shortly afterwards succumb to death? i don't know the details but i'm sure most of us who know him only as a movie actor and one of our presidential candidates during the past election wouldn't have thought that he would die this soon. two significant deaths before a bleak christmas. and before these, the tragedy that befell the residents of quezon from incessant logging. these thoughts have been contemplated by many minds before you read this i'm sure. anyway, i'm just throwing in a thought or two. it's really a tragedy before christmas.

being politically correct

i was just waiting for 12nn to arrive. i couldn't get my readings for cw 10 from blessings because there were just so many people right now so i am just going to get it tomorrow. anyway, i was looking at a visitor's blog and came upon this interesting research on political correctness. jump to: the Political Correctness Primer. you should read this. like dirty old men should be called sexually focused chronologically gifted individual. harhar! read on..

a bad feeling

arbie's statement of disillusionment yesterday has greatly affected me and it still hasn't left me today. that was around 4:30 in the afternoon. mine is caused by another thing entirely different from his, details of which i won't mention here.



i wasn't feling really up the afternoon that i went to the tambayan. i guess it rubbed off on me but i didn't feel all the way down until after our GA in up subol. words were said but they weren't meant to offend or reprimand anyone in any way. but the fact that there are many things i wanna do in life and many more things that i have to do (due to obligatoin or a promise or whatever) and i can't do all of them - i guess that's why a big, black cloud has been hanging over me. so i decided i won't go to up optics' acquaintance party anymore today and consequently, no longer pursue my planned application into the org. i also no longer want to go to mc's christmas party if ever it will push through, given the state of things.



i was feeling significantly lighter or happier last monday after our class in philo. we watched Miracle on 34th Street, a feel-good Christmas movie. i was quite happy that christmas is here already. then arbie's statement. i actually read a blog entry of his mondy night and i think that's what started it coz' i wasn't really feeling good come tuesday.



well, the things that life offers you. i wanna get rid of this. i got to talk to someone later.

isang linggong pagkawala

kahapon, nakapanood ako ng film sa up cine adarna, mississippi masala ung title, na kasama si denzel washington. hindi naman gaanong nakakaapekto so wala na akong ibang sasabihin dito..



pagkatapos nun, nagpunta ako ng sm north. pakay ko talaga ay bumili ng pinakabagong album ng radioactive sago project na urban gulaman. nagawa ko naman iyon, at pag-alis ko ng tower, may bitbit na rin akong kind of blue ni miles davis. napakinggan ko na silang pareho at ang galing talaga. iyon nga lang, ang aking urban gulaman ay may kaunting sira. hindi natatapos patugtugin ang track 8 at ang track 9 naman ay hindi napapatugtog.



tapos mula kagabi hanggang kaninang mga alas-tres, binasa ko ang isang nobela ni jude deveraux na ang pamagat ay the summerhouse. unang beses ko pa lang nakabasa ng nobela niya dahil pag mga romansa, madalas pare-pareho na ang mga kwento. at ganun din naman sa kanya. iyon nga lang, iyong sa kanya ay medyo merong may twist. nakabalik kasi sa kasaysayan (di ako makaisip ng mas mabuting salita kaysa dito sa ngayon e) ng tatlong linggo at pagkatapos nun, pwede nilang mabago ang buhay nila kung tatanggapin nila ang mga pagbabago. tatlong babaeng magkuwa-kuwarenta pala ang mga pangunahing tauhan dun. hindi rin pala ako ang may-ari ng librong iyon. iyon ay sa roommate kong si mars, na kasalukuyang nasa laguna ngayon. kaya walang nangyari sa buong araw ko. hanggang alas tres ako nakaupo lang sa kama at nakikinig sa sari-saring musika. tapos mga alas-sais lang ako lumabas ng bahay para mag-net dahil isang linggo na rin akong hindi nakapasok sa mga computer centers dito sa up.



may isang linggo pa akong mamalagi dito sa up diliman bago ako bumalik sa aking probinsya para sa taunang pagdiriwang ng pasko. ngunit hanggang sa ngayon, hindi ko pa rin nadarama ang nakasanayan nang taguriang "christmas spirit". bakit kaya? tumatanda na ba ako?



kakaunti na rin ang load ng cellphone ko. hindi ito aabot hanggang sa ika-31 ng disyembre kung magtetext lang ako nang magtetext kaya hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako nakakapag-forward ng mga quotes. puro mga importanteng bagay lang ang tinutugunan ko.



nung biyernes pala, nakapag-inuman ko kasama ng mga orgmates ko sa MC. ang saya. noon lang ako nakapunta sa Oye's na malapit lang dun sa pinagdausan ng FR ng batch namin. naka-isa't kalahating beer ako kasi hindi ko na kaya. hindi ko naman talaga gusto ang lasa ng beer. pero masaya dahil ang lahat ay masaya. may tumutugtog at nagkakaroon ng choral singing. hanep nga dahil tatlong beses namin kinanta ang katang hello digital world ng makopa. astig!



para sa linggong ito, hanggang dito na lang muna. may klase pa ako bukas at medyo malalim na ang gabi.

poring!

i'm hungry.. i haven't had breakfast yet. cutting back on food expenses, i guess. i'm gonna meet my aunt and cousin later for lunch at sm north so..that's where i'll have my fill hehe..



as to the title of this post, i was just so amused by this sound that is made by a character of the same name in ragnarok: the animation. level up sponsored a ragnarok dubbing contest yesterday at una kame and the dubbers, they were good.



well, till next time.

huh?!?

watching my little bride last night has got me wondering about the status of my own pathetic love life.. there's not one to begin with in the first place. *currently wishing that my cute chinito prince charming will sweep me off my feet later*



yeba! i'm off!

after the storm

it's a very sunny saturday morning. i haven't done anything yet except (ha!) go to the bathroom. i haven't eaten yet. i just got up from bed and i wanted to write.



since alessa didn't go home for the weekend because she and her brother had a fight and they haven't made up yet, we decided to go out yesterday. we went to sm north. since it was still early for the movie we wanted to watch, we had lunch first at tokyo tokyo. i really liked the pork tonkatsu the first time i ate it with her at sm centerpoint. and since it was soft enough for my teeth to be able to bite them without much constraints, so that's what we ordered. i also love their red ice tea. then, well, we watched pa-siyam. since it was the only one that interested us from the movies that were showing there.





pa-siyam didn't strike me much as the horror type. sure, there was a ghost and mysterious happenings in the house but the lingering emotion i felt quite afterwards (since it didn't really last that long; as soon as i went to the bathroom for a much needed fix, the movie left my mind already. except for that time that i was actually peeing and my thoughts flew to the woman being abused and a tear escaped from my eye and then when i got out, that was it.) was pity. to sum it up, it was quite a waste of time. i wish we could have watched some other movie. at least it wasn't priced that high, unlike when feng shui was shown.



then we went to papemelroti to buy a replacement for my journal in cw10 since the original one has leaves that were the same with the recyclable paper material that papemelroti is using. i also found a new design of their 2005 planners that was colored blue. but i already bought one already. i wish i had that blue one for myself. i also found a "my sketchbook for everyday things." since it was quite cheap, i just bought it, without any idea of where i'm gonna use it. well, yesterday, i started on the first page already, doddling random things. by the way, i looked up papemelroti's website yesterday, quite curious about this little shop and all. the name was actually from a fusion of the names of the 5 children of the couple who started the business. well, right now, the kids are doing the business on their own and even branching out to a number of other enterprises.



after that, we did some groceries then we went home already. i was able to watch getbackers (yihee!) and slam dunk. however, the last two days that i've been watching, the series seems to have gone into the mundane stuff as fillers. yesterday was quite funny. the one awhile ago was outright um, stupid. i couldn't imagine a serious character as shido fighting it out neck and neck with ban mido, as in the thursday episode, and well, yesterday was his episode and i did not like it at all.



i did a bit of netsurfing afterwards, deleting a lot of the mail i got from my groups and i ordered a beerkada shirt from mr l.



then i watched the korean movie my little bride - on silent mode, mind you - on ate jonnah's computer. it was a really cute movie. cute characters, cute events though i didn't really like the ending. a 15-year-old high school girl is forced to marry a childhood friend who's now graduating from college to fulfill her grandfather's wishes. of course, both of them didn't approve of the arrangement but they couldn't do anything. so right after the wedding, they moved into the same house but they didn't have sex yet. at least, until after she's graduated from college, according to the girls' mom. the guy was just so cute and so kind. he's a playboy type but with his wife, he's really adorable the way he looked after her. it was just romantic and they really looked good together. hehe.. cheesiness going over me.. but i did enjoy it. i even played the two cds again, the second one before the first.



oh well, today, i'm planning to go the up ame event at bahay ng alumni. i still haven't found anyone who will go with me. anyhow, i'm going because it's going to be the first anime event that i'll be attending and there'll be a cosplay and that's where mr. l will be to sell his beerkada shirts.



so well, that's all for this morning. ciao!

bastusan na

i've been hearing kjwan's daliri for quite some time already and it usually stays on my mind for quite a long while after hearing it. i dunno if these are the true lyrics but these are the only ones available on the net so:



Marami ang nagsabi

Daliri mo'y may labi

Kung minsan sinasabi

Ang hawak mo ay sungkit

Ang init ng 'yong kapit

Tuluy-tuloy ang higpit

Nawawala ang alaala

Nawawala ang sakit



'di mo na maalala

Kung saan ka pupunta

'di mo na makilala ang iyong…



Kung minsan may nagsabi

Ang puso mo ay itim

Halik ng buwan sa hangin

Sabik sa mga salarain

Saan ka hahanapin?

Kailan ako titikim?

Nawawala ang alaala

Nawawala ang sakit



- Kjwan

what does your name stand for?

i got this one from jen:



What does your name stand for? Spell your name and copy what each letter signifies about your personality.



++++++++++++++



M - Success comes easily to you.

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

R - You are a social butterfly.

I - You are always smiling & making others smile.

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.



R - You are a social butterfly.

O - You are very open-minded.

M - Success comes easily to you.

I - You are always smiling & making others smile.

N - You like to work, but you always want a break

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.



C - You definitely have a partier side in you,dont be shy to show it.

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

C - You definitely have a partier side in you,dont be shy to show it.

H - You are not judgemental.

O - You are very open-minded.



M - Success comes easily to you.

I - You are always smiling & making others smile.

S - You are very broad-minded.

L - Love is something you deeply believe in.

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

N - You like to work, but you always want a break

G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.



YOUR TURN:

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.

C - You definitely have a partier side in you,dont be shy to show it.

D - You have trouble trusting people.

E - You are a very exciting person.

F - Everyone loves you.

G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.

H - You are not judgemental.

I - You are always smiling & making others smile.

J - Jealousy.

K - You like to try new things.

L - Love is something you deeply believe in.

M - Success comes easily to you.

N - You like to work, but you always want a break

O - You are very open-minded.

P - You are very friendly and understanding.

Q - You are a hypocrite.

R - You are a social butterfly.

S - You are very broad-minded.

T - You have an attitude, a big one.

U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.

V - You have a very good physical and looks.

W - You like your privacy .

X - You never let people tell you what to do.

Y - You cause a lot of trouble.

Z - You're always fighting with someone.

strange dream

i just got up from bed though i've been awake since 6. and that's considering i slept at around 12 am already. i woke up from a strange dream. the way towards CS has been changed. it's more high tech. however, its speed is like a conveyor belt. and i don't recognize the building anymore. there was a guy going into the building who was carrying a really huge package which looked like a tall stereo.and there were times when you had to jump while it was transporting you so that it would be faster. and when you jump, it's like a long jump and you do a somersault in midair and you land on your back and you stay lying down. really weird. i found out about that because i forgot a type of brush that was with me which we were supposed to use for our fs 116 class. and surprisingly, the brush was the special brush i got for my braces. and i thought it would take so long ebecause i left it at the boarding house but when i got back, the turn of events seem to imply that only seconds have passed. i also dreamed that my mom was into microbiology and that some time ago, someone texted me that tita edith was sick. and then eventually, that she was well into dying which i forgot to tell my mom. when the last text came,, that's when i saw my mom with tita cyn, her sister who's a real life doctor. and i gleaned from the situation that my mom's gonna try to do something to save her, knowing that only microbiology could provide the necessary tools to do that.



well, that's that. yoyong is on her way out to the south china sea. no classes today. till later.

random musings on a rainy thursday evening

yoyong

another class-less thursday for students and another bane to UP students' MTh classes. more so for me because i was supposed to have a class in my major today and two ge subjects and we've been missing lots of classes already we might not be able to tackle everything.



all around us, the super typhoon Yoyong is still making its presence felt. back in dagupan, everyone's fine. there were just winds but no rains. it's good because then, they won't have to evacuate yet. right now, there are bits of rain and some wind. however, bulacan and quezon province as well as catanduanes are very hard hit areas. i heard that some 1,000 people died already. this is the most disastrous disaster i've encountered yet during my "conscious" living years. i hope no more terrible damage will be done. i know not many can begin to imagine what those families who have lost homes or loved ones feel right now. i'm sure they know the term or the word for it but the wrods do not contain the emotion - be it horror or sorrow - for what is really happening. i read this idea in anita shreve's sea glass which i just finished some minutes earlier, after eating a footlong sandwich and mango juice for dinner which satisfied my stomach but left my braces a little hurting.



in the boarding haus all day

all four of us were only here in the room most of the day. mars and i haven't stepped a foot out of the house yet. it's either we do some school stuff, read novels, write, watch the news or lie down and sleep. i've also been soundtripping earlier in the day, going through my cds, and now, i want to hear something new so i'm quite craving for radioactive sago project's new album, urban gulaman which by the way, is available at sarabia optical at the shopping center for Php 250.00. i also found sound's first album, bossa manila, a fitting theme to the day's mood when it wasn't raining yet but it wants to already with the clouds dark above everyone and everybody's just inside the houses not doing much. so what am i gonna do tomorrow when there's no classes again? i'm gonna make a headstart on one of the two agatha chirstie novels i bought recently. it's gonna be a long weekend... seriously though, i think classes should have been held today. it was such a waste since there were no strong rains or winds during the earlier part of the day.



nu rock awards

i just remembered. the NU rock awards are suposed to be held tonight. i wonder what's happening right now, if there's anything that's happening at all.



couldn't sleep

i've actually tried daydreaming this morning. i wanted to sleep but i couldn't so i imagined my mr. right has come along approaching me after class one day. haha..like that would happen in the near future.



books

i borrowed two books from the library yesterday (yeba!). i actually found john grisham's pelican brief, the client and the chamber but i didn't borrow any one of those coz' even when you think you've read most of the novel already, you'll find you're not even halfway through but it's just so engaging you won't put it down and i don't need that kind of distraction right now. instead, i borrowed anne rice's the feast of all saints, her only novel that i found inspite of the long list that was displayed on the opac. while i was moving through the shelves, i stumbled upon the creative writing section and i borrowed a book from it. i didn't find my favorite of old, the one entitled "what if?". hopefully, it's just on loan and not yet lost forever. maybe because of the long weekend, i could borrow tolkien's the fellowship of the ring. i've been meaning to read it since last year but i haven't gotten around to finishing half of it yet.



realizations on writing

while i was trying to read the creative writing book i borrowed from the lib, i realized once again that for me to improve, i should just write and write like what i'm doing right now. it's the easiest way to go. and then i should open my mind and read a lot so that i'll have ideas from different areas or aspects of life. yeah, that's gotta be it. the books try to get you to come up with ideas for writing but if you know what you want to write, that's madly fine and you're better off.



conversations

i haven't had much chance for conversation today, not even with the four of us complete in the room almost the whole day.



it's in some conversations with the pople closest to me and who are actually critical thinkers that i actually learn some things about stuffs even about things 'bout myself. at the back of my mind i knew but only recently did i realize it for what it really iwas when alessa and i were talking and i said it out in the open. only then did i fully realize that i was actually like that. i don't have a lot of guy friends. the real guy friends i have i could count on only one hand. i do know a lot of guys who can carry a conversation with me, even in high school. there are times when we're together and there's a little bonding moment but after that day, i feel like nothing's changed between us and i should treat him like how i treated him before we bonded and that amounts to not simply noticing him. weird thing for me. i evny people who have close guy friends, even guy best friends but whenever i come close to having even a guy friend, i shy away and so the realtionship goes back to square one.



ness's debut

i quite envy ness. she held her debut celebration last sunday but her birthday is actually on monday. it was held at padi's point. from the party alone, you can tell that she has touched a lot of lives and so many people consider her close to their heart. most of her guests are our high school batchmates. i quite envy her because of the relationships she has forged. i wish i was also quite like her. and she's got a tight-knit, emotional family, the last adjective being voiced out by her mom herself in a letter which was read during the party. she just lost her dad and everyone's still grieving over that. her sisters even cried after their song and message for her.



the food could have been good enough if i could bit but i could only swallow. i did get to eat embotido, chicken, lechon and fruit salad. quite yummy, esp. the lechon and i loved the salad.



i could say that ness knows a lot of pretty good singers since during her 18 songs, almost everyone delivered remarkable performances. the first one who sang was carissa and she sang tattooed on my mind. and hwenever i'll hear that song, i know i'm going to remember that keyboardist from padi's because that's the first song that they played and right there and then you could see that he's really good, not to mention the fact that he was in red, good-looking and seemed like a really nice guy. anyway, i don't think i'll see him again so he'll just remain a memory.



tomorrow

i wanna watch carnivale tomorrow. i hope i could. gma has already announced that there'll be no classes tomorrow. but i can't go home again. it would be dangerous plus i have an early class on monday. well hopefully, we'll already have classes then.



i wanna look for the lyrics of light and shade by fra lippo lippi. i was listening to the song this morning and the lyrics were kinda interesting.



tomorrow, i'm hoping to get out of the house and go to a computer center. i'll post on my blog and ready my mail. i haven't replied to eduardo yet on friendster. and i ought to practice the keyboard or the guitar, then study some, read novels and not eat a lot. i wanna watch a movie. hehe.. tomorrow then Ü

it's been quite a while

yup, it really has been since i last posted some stuff here. i haven't even been writing regularly in my journal for cw10 since last thursday.



lots of stuff have really happened. a while ago, i went to cello's in katipunan with some of my orgmates for some doughnuts. i just had my molar bands placed last saturday so i wasn't sure if i could eat, but surprisingly, i could bite into their doughnut because they were so soft. i ordered the cheese-topped one. it's so good. i gotta try the other toppings - m&m, oreo, strawberry, peanut butter. hopefully, when that time comes, i could bite with my teeth already and not just suck the whole thing into my throat, which i have been doing with everything that gets inside my mouth for the last 4 days.



*





i went home to dagupan last weekend. i borrowed some anime from mark and i also brought home the ones i've bought. i really spent quite a fortune on that one. 2 rats anime - the store in robinson's metroeast that i'm buying from - had a sale this november at Php35.00 per cd so i bought some. all in all, these are the titles that i brought home: trigun (series), serial experiments lain (series), weiss kreuz/knight hunters (series), hellsing (series), escaflowne (movie), perfect blue (movie), akira (movie), blood: the last vampire (movie) and the angel sanctuary (movie). a lot huh? consider that trigun and weiss kreuz have 26 episodes in all - so that amounts to 13 cds per series. the only ones we've been able to watch is trigun. astig! i loved it. now i understand it. i also liked their sound effects. he's like a gun-toting kenshin himura only with lots more goof and he almost has an un-hero-like aura to him. yep, people wouldn't even think he was the widely-renowned Vash the Stampede, the humanoid super typhoon. i really love this one. haha! too bad i wasn't able to watch hellsing. i've seen some parts of the first episode and i must say it's quite good. i like the animation. plus, iba ung dating. astig talaga. i watched it with my brothers and sister, though kevin likes to sleep whenever we're watching it. the ending was quite bitin. i didn't fully comprehend what vash really is. but it's an entirely different world for them. right now, i still can't get the opening theme and the theme during the break in the series.



*





this is from mars's post on friendster: 25 things to annoy people. enjoy!



1. Sing the Batman theme aloud inside public toilets while waiting for someone to finish.



2. When falling in line, face at the person behind you, then walk backwards when the line is moving.



3. Ask people what gender they are, and ask again to make sure.



4. Practice making fax and modem noises during coffee break.



5. Ask the taxi driver to turn the radio on, and the meter off.



6. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public

consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."



7. Speak only in a "robot" voice when talking to a superior or boss, always use "Yehes Mahaster".



8. Blow your nose as loud as you can when some one is eating.



9. Ask a fastfood crew for a ketchup packet then stomp on it, then ask for another one. Say please.



10. Name your dog "You."



11. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet to work or class as part of your "astronaut training."



12. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider-man."



13. Finish all your sentences with the words "according to my mom".



14. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge to someone's table.



15. Shout random numbers while someone is counting money.



16. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."



17. Perform tribal drums on someone's computer monitor while theyre using it. Make sure to make direct eye contact to the user while doing so.



18. Staple papers in the middle of the page.



19. Scream "he's gonna die later" inside movie theatres everytime the lead actor is onscreen".



20. Set alarms for random times.



21. Change the channel five minutes before the end of a movie.



22. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.



23. Stare at static or color bars on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."



24. Call a radio station then request for the national anthem.



25. Wear a clown outfit on weddings.



*



well, 'tis all for now. i gotta run.

umuulan kasi

it's quite a rainy saturday afternoon. i was supposed to go to robinson's metroeast to buy some anime vcds (namely knight hunters and serial experiments lain) from 2 rats when at mcdo, where alessa and i ate a late lunch/early dinner, it started to rain. and with the water flowing, so did my spirits dampen. besides, i don't want to go to the mall with my feet dirty from sloshing around on the streets in this rainy weather. so i decided to go straight home and just surf the net. i decided to study first - either acads or music, i decide later, coz' i haven't been able to do much in the morning. i just read john grisham's bleachers and i haven't finished it yet. novels are really bad for me. i would sacrifice studying for my acads and even music just to read a book. anyway, this one is quite a different fare from the usual grisham thrillers. there are no courtroom travails here and certainly no lawyer. it's about a football coach who was so famous he was the one who put that town into the map of the US and he is about to breathe his last and his influence on those boys he coached. so there were a lot of game flashbacks and of course, i couldn't relate much at all. it's so hard to imagine and i'm not really a fan of football. i've also tried reading some children's pocket books which also touched on football and the most i could understand were touchdowns and quarterbacks, and some tackles. this one however had much more: nose tackles, linebacker, punt - a whole new vocabulary. however, even if i couldn't understand it, i could still feel the energy as i read along. that's why i couldn't put it down. if alessa wasn't going home to sta. mesa, i could've stayed in our room all day and finish it before finally going down to take a bath.



so that's that. since there haven't been many updates here - haven't even posted the details of our checkout dive in batangas - i'm planning to post my two journal entries which is my assignment for my cw 10 class. our prof, sir butch guererro required us to keep a journal everyday even if the entries are only one paragraph long till the rest of the sem. and for our next meeting, he'll be checking it so i should have either 5 or 6 entries by that time. anyway, i've been dutiful, doing it since thursday, writing on the late hours of the night and well into the next day. anyway, just for an update i've posted them already. so just scroll down and you will find them.

friday, nov. 19

11:55 pm, friday - nov. 19



a terrible thing just happened!



a while ago, i let out a whole slew of my most secret of secrets - one that even my roommate doesn't know about. she is also my orgmate and after our GA which ended at past 6, some of us stayed behind to just catch up and exchange stories. we were among the two who stayed behind. at first, everyone was having serious discussions with whoever they were talking with. then afterwards, their talk turned to "chismisan" or "pagpapa-isyu" already. this one orgmate of ours tries to link the others to other orgmates of ours. of course, they were all bluffs. then another mem came along and the linkages became true. i mean she said the truth when she was asked the question and it's totally fine for her because she can get away with it - she's known for everyone knowing who her present "trivial pursuit" is. i, however, am unlike that. however, when i was aked the question a second time, i felt like it was a time when one can't evade the questions and should answer them truthfully. i thought it was one of those inuman sessions that everyone bares their hearts out. and well, what do you know, right after i finished, everyone was ready to go home already coz' it was already nearing 10 pm. and only then did i realize that not everyone bared their hearts out. oh my gosh! what a terrible thing.



it was like only two of us gave out but mine was a real issue, new gossip for them... stupid me. when i was asked that question the first time, i said there was none because i only had one person on my mind and it didn't account for much. the second time i was asked, two other people came to mind and i got excited and i thought i should have my say too since the others did. so i eventually gave out some descriptions, even explaining that the other one just developed/realized recently while the other one is still in the developing stage. like the transition states in chemical reactions, it could turn into a full-fledged one or it may not.



i even gave out quite particular clues because everyone was trying to guess who those people were and it wouldn't matter if they didn't know but obviously, i didn't think that way that time. and with plenty of them, i'm sure they'll come up with a name. but anyhow, i gave out. goodness, and there were 4 people i mentioned that seemed surprising to them, and one person whom they focused upon. issue na talaga 'to!



oh, and good news. i've regained my sense of self or whatever you might call it (see previous post) after the GA and all those talks. but remember: don't be excited and stupid at the same time.



hay...



12:17 am

thursday, nov. 18

11:26 pm, Thursday - Nov. 18



the music on the radio plus the lack of solitude in this room and the fact that i just took a bath have driven the darker feelings i've been having earlier. i've had plenty of words running through my head in the bathroom but as soon as i left it, all the words flew away. however, since i'd like to think about them, i'd try to recall them as much as i can.



toward the end of my bath, i realized i had been philosophizing. that's a new concept i learned in my philo 1 class this afternoon. it's all about asking questionnn and/or re-asking them to reach some truths. so what have i been philosophizing about? it's about my fucking existence... for the nth time. about the things i'm doing or not doing right now. and my nature as a person. if you must know, i was feeling less and less worthy as the day wore on. and ugh, do i hate that feeling.



there's this big stage that i want to be a part of, quite a grandiose stage from my point of view but not so much for others. at least, not for the majority of the people in this world but for the majority of the people i know. i have been trying to involve myself in the affairs of that stage for almost two years already. but that's te only thing that i've done. i've just tried. sure i listen to discussions, try to involve myself with people and participate in events but there's something lacking in me that does not drive me to develop myself, my skills or my talent if i do have that. perhaps it's my lack of initiative or motivation or whatever. it's one of my dreams, one of the things i wanna do with my life but after so many promises to myself that i will do what i need to do, i still haven't progressed. i'm still at the same level i was at two years ago. and to think many others have gone so far ahead i couldn't possibly catch up with them.



i have long wanted to be a player. but until now, i'm still a spectator. goodness, what is the root of my problem? i know i want to live a meaningful life, one that i would not regret. but am i inspired enough to live it? it's been bothering me for so long. sometimes i think i don't have a purpose. i just live day to day, trudging on and just passing through all the things that are coming toward me.



and then there's this very nature of mine that i don't really like. i'm sure there are quite people but i know they're not as quiet as me. i've been with these people for almost two years already but lots of times when i'm with them, i just sit there and listen to all of their conversations. i am amused at or interesed by the things that they say but i don't venture a comment or suggestion or anyhing. i just ponder the thought over in my head and smile a little smile to myself or stumble upon a realization all by my lonesome. sure there are times when i'm also speaking which in itself is a rare occasion for me when i'm in a large group but my silent days outnumber those of my talking days. and then i feel so insignificant, so unworthy to live. i fancy myself as an absorber, one who just listens and absorbs everything. but to make good relationships, i know i have to do more than that. and the fact that i can't or don't do any of those frustrates me. I HATE MYSELF RIGHT NOW.



12:04 am

have a nice day!

i had quite an enjoyable day today. i have realized much of what's gonna happen to my career because of our prof in food micro. our first serious subject in our course starts with her and we end it with her still. that's ok. she's a great teacher. she really has so much to give the students. but she's a strict teacher and i guess that's good because it's going to be a good training ground for all of us. nung una kakatakot siya sobra pero kanina (it was only our second meeting for this sem), hindi naman pala siya ganoon. during the first day kasi, i was late in our class, arriving about 10 minutes late (labo kasi ng mga toki, walang dumadaan kung hindi oras ng mga klase ng umaga i.e. 7am). iba rin yong atmosphere. there was a like a sense of foreboding in everyone of us. anyway, after the class, my classmates related that by 7am, she was already inside the classroom. so even though they were early, they didn't get to make chikahan. and then saktong-saktong 7:30 am, the start of our class, she started talking. grabe. it's good that mabait naman siya. buti naman wala pa akong prof na mako-consider kong terror. anyway, she insists on speaking in english coz' that's how it is in the industry. and she also related different stuffs about the industry. we found out that only one bottle of yakult is safe for daily consumption. and there were those who are given all six in one day. think of the implications that the bacteria strains in that drink will do to their colon. that's the first sign of smiles from the whole class. then afterwards, in our lab class, it was said that she was the one responsible for getting fit out of the market, that cleanser for vegetables and other raw stuff.



anyway, till next time again. i have lots more stuff to do!

hassle ang kumain

right now, i'm in the middle of my second hour of net-surfing in this computer center sa ever-popular JP Laurel St. sa Area 2 dito sa UP Diliman Campus dahil siyempre, dito mahahanap ang pinakapopular na Lutong Bahay, kung saan ako at ang aking mga kasambahay ay kumain ng hapunan kanina. and there i was, deviating from my usual fare of rice and sinigang na baboy, my favorite dish from that place, for two straight days already. kahapon, dahil wala. ngayon naman, dahil di ko nakita na meron pa.



well, nowadays hassle ang kumain. for me, that is. you oughta know, i just had braces put on last sunday. however, they haven't placed my molar bands yet, which i found out this afternoon is the real reason why people with braces are in pain and are forced to go on a diet, so that means the little hurts i'm experiencing now are nothing compared to what i would soon experience when my molar bands are already in place. goodness, all for a nice set of teeth. yup, mejo sumasabit siya ngayon sa lips, kaya mejo may sore dun sa lower left lip ko. haay.. and i get to be a bit vain as i can't go out without carrying a mirror around. just a small one which i got from my sister because she got braces first before i did. since i'm not used to it, little foodstuffs get stuck in between the braces and thus, the need for a mirror so i can properly pinpoint which locations i need to uh, "tongue" (pardon the term) so that i could get them out. and since my classes usually don't provide much time for lunches, i just get by with as little as monay and sometimes nothing at all. which brings me to something else.



i've been wanting to eat monay since the sem has started - missing it for more than a month already - but then i bought one awhile ago and it wasn't what i was expecting to see. hell, it was not what i thought my Php10.00 would buy. it wasn't warm and it wasn't the same monay bread that we used to have. well, that's all for food today.

done with the reg

i was finished with my registration early this morning, after going to bed early last night (around 9pm) in a horizontal fashion that transversed alessa's bed (i only had my head on my own bed and the rest of my body on my roommate's) not bothering to fix my bed after a very long and quite stressful day.



clambering upon the dagupan bus' cold interior back in dagupan, i spent an hour waiting for another of their company's to pass by as the bus we were riding in took a sharp blow to the front tire and had to be brought to some repair shop. we were in the middle of the north luzon expressway by then having just got out of pampanga and the sun was just rising up. eventually, the sun had fully risen and those passengers left standing by the road were given their early morning sunshine and heat. so i arrived in UP a little before 9am.



and then i went to get my classcards. i got a 1.0 in my geog1 class and i don't think it's one of those cases wherein the teachers are just so lazy or they don't think about what grades they give but i think i really deserved that grade.



this weekend, i and alessa will be off to anilao, batangas for our 4 check-out dives that are required for us to be certified divers. it's our first time to dive outside of the pool. yesterday, we had a review session, still in dive republic with giovanni, one of our classmates in PE, and an older guy - one of their students. i'm quite excited already. however, i think i need to get another pair of swimsuit, since i only own one and we'll be doing two dives a day.

of noodles, halloween, Undas and old movies

right now i'm alone here at home. and this is going to be the longest for me mom went to bolinao to fix her papers since her birth certificate is not registered. big problem, that is. anyway, i'm just biding my time here, trying to post as much as i could, enjoying the last few hours here at home, before another sem breaks out - and before i troop for another meal of some simple noodles - yeah that has been like my staple for lunch for some weeks already, be it instant noodles or one of those pista noodle ulam. and since i'm alone, then another noodle it is.



speaking of bolinao, some 16 of us in my mother's side of the family had a sort of roadtrip last sunday. destination: bolinao. however, since the purpose of the trip is a discussion between my mom and her siblings and their cousins who reside there and it was slated in the afternoon, we had lots of time to spare. after mass at 8:30 am, we left dagupan at around 10 am, passing through binmaley, lingayen, labrador, bugallon, sual, alaminos and bani - not necessarily in that order. we dropped by lucap in alaminos, home of the famous Hundred Islands. we ought to have done some island-hopping but the exorbitant price pulled us back to the van after taking some photos though there wasn't much of a view since we were still very far from the islands. this was probably one of the rare times when my mom and her siblings were complete. as for us cousins, there were still a lot missing.



after that, we ate lunch at some carinderia, considering our number and the price of commodities nowadays. but i was fine with it. i'm used to it already. and then, some more roadtripping til we reached our destination. nothing much to do. we ate some more at lolo ruben's house (one of the last remaining grandparents of ours -->his wife is still alive and they just recently celebrated their golden wedding anniversary<-- who is the brother of our grandfather), taking a tour of the poblacion courtesy of our parents of course.



their discussion was very quick (it was just about their lands for our grandparents were landed people) and when they came back to the house, they were all having a loud digression about what had happened. obviously, it didn't turn out well. so while they were drinking and eating and talking, we were watching the horror specials on TV since nothing else was on and it was the only one that most of us could agree to. from nginiig to mel and joey (when did jay get out of their show?) to another show which i couldn't remember. the funny thing was one of my younger cousins, bodjie is her nickname, was telling everyone that what we were watching was corny (i have to agree with her about nginiig - i don't like the format at all. it takes the scare out of the supposedly scary experiences and the 3 hosts have nothing better to do than blurt out mundane stuff which is so expected of what they're doing.) anyway, we were watching nginiig at that time. earlier, they found a channel where wrestling was being shown. she along with some others wanted to watch it but since they were outvoted, we were watching the horror programs. so she was telling us to change the channels and everything, then when the moment she glanced at the TV she saw a ghost suddenly passing through in the scene that was being shown and she shrieked and snuggled herself between me and her other cousin. well, everyone was laughing, i most heartily of all. hahaha!!! it still makes me smile much to this day! hahaha!!!



we left bolinao around 8pm. i thought i wouldn't be able to catch the philippine premiere of the grudge, albeit a dubbed tagalog version on gma. well i did. i've been wanting to watch it a very long time now, and now there's a hollywood version coming to our shores. on the other network, they were showing the phone, of course dubbed in tagalog too. well, i watched it. sure there were some spooky scenes but it wasn't enough to merit it as a really scary horror film. it was kinda expected. the ending was left hanging. in short, when i was expecting a good scare, i was left with none, so that i didn't rush to sleep after the movie ended. and i was alone with my sleeping brother in the other house. but no, not even a bit spooked at all.



***



last monday, filipinos around the country trooped to the cemeteries and other burial places to remember their dearly departed. well, we had an early one in bolinao last sunday, visiting our lolo's grave and churning out some ridiculous answers to bodjie's ridiculous questions. then last monday, we went to mangaldan, for our grandmother's side of the family (again my mom's side. dad made it early in binmaley last sunday when he went to their ancestral home for some gathering with our relatives from that side). 'twas a really sweltering heat that accompanied all the visitors. i was sweating a lot. fortunately, we ate in the nearby market afterwards even though i was still sweating heavily for a time after we started eating. pancit, halo-halo, empanada, cake. we all left for home full.



***



last saturday, i was able to watch some snippets of the highly popular a walk to remember. since mom was washing clothes since the laundrywoman didn't show up, we were assigned to hang the clothes out in the sun so my viewing was interrupted many times. i rediscovered the movie and actually quite enjoyed it because, one thing, it was able to make me shed tears. you really felt the intensity of their acting, you really felt the feelings of this ill-fated but good looking lovers (oh yeah, shane west, i find out once again is oh so gwapo), especially when jamie confessed to landon that she's sick. his tears almost immediately wrenched my heart.



yesterday, i was so lucky that i saw the movie starting on the same channel and i was actually able to watch the movie in full. however, there were no tears for me that day. i even rekindled the opinion that mandy moore was so OA, with her lips turning into a certain shape when she's talking or singing. so disappointed was i, who was looking for another chance to clean my eyes. yeah, just for that sole purpose. so when am i going to get that chance again?



***



i was also finally able to watch interview with the vampire. and of course, brad pitt is still that uber gorgeous guy. while i was watching i was thinking kirsten dunst is so goddamn lucky to be able to play with these 3 sexy and charming guys. need i mention them? even at the sake of melting in envy, i tell you that they are brad pitt, tom cruise and antonio banderas, who playes Armand (i've bought Anne Rice's book on him but i haven't finished reading it yet). goodness, what an experience it could've been. and to think she was still oh-so-young back then.



***



aside from that movie which i've been wanting to see (which now i have and which has now led me to want to read all of anne rice's novels), i have a few more that i wished to see before this sem's outbreak but which unfortunately would have to be saved for the christmas break or for the next sembreak *sigh*. i wanna watch ocean's eleven, shark tale, a cinderella story (after seeing the preview a while ago), the ring (japanese version - hoping for a good scare), and i'm forgetting some other things. anyway, good thing i was able to watch cradle 2 the grave last time. astig ni jet li. and he's so kawaii!



ayway, till next time. get *funked!

What's better than...? commencement speech of butch jimenez to UP's class 2003

i copied this directly from the email i received. this is truly inspiring. everyone should read it again and again.



Manila, Philippines



This speech was delivered during the commencement exercises of the UP

graduating class of 2003 by Mr. Butch Jimenez, the youngest commencement

speaker in the university's history. He once dreamed of doing so, and it

came true!!! :-) Students wished they had a pencil or paper to jot down

notes during the speech; some even wished they had a tape recorder. Some

members of the faculty found his speech practical, refreshing, and funny!



Butch Jimenez, head of PLDT's media and strategic communications

department, delivered this speech at the UP Diliman Class 2003 commencement

exercises.



---------------------------------



What's better than...?

By Butch Jimenez







Better than being negative



As college students, you're just about to set sail into the real world. As you prepare for the battleground of life, you'll hear many speeches, read tons of books and get miles of advice telling you to work hard, dream big, go out and do something for yourself, and have a vision.



Not bad advice, really. In fact, following these nuggets of truth may just bring you to the top. But as I've lived my life over the years , I have come to realize that it is great to dream big, have a vision, make a name, and work hard. But guess what: There's something better than that.



So my message today simply asks the question, What's better than...?



Let's start off with something really simple. What's better than a long speech? No doubt, a short one. So, you guys are in luck because I do intend to keep this short.



Now, let me take you through a very simple math exam. I'll rattle off a couple of equations, and you tell me what you observe about them. Be mindful of the instructions. You are to tell me what you observe about the equations.



Here goes: 3+4=7, 9+2=11, 8+4=13, and 6+6=12. Tell me, what do you observe?



Every time I conduct this test, more than 90 percent of the participants immediately say, 8+4 is NOT 13, it's 12!



That's true and they are correct. But they could have also observed that the three other equations were right. That 3+4 is 7, that 9+2 is 11, and that 6+6 is 12.



What's my point? Many people immediately focus on the negative instead of the positive. Most of us focus on what's wrong with other people more than what's right about them. Examine those four equations. Three were right and only one was wrong. But what is the knee-jerk observation? The wrong equation.



If 10 people you didn't know were to walk through that door, most of you would describe those people by what's negative about them. He's fat. He's balding. Oh, the short one. Oh, the skinny girl. Ahhh, 'yung pango. Etc.



Get the point? It's always the negative we focus on and not the positive. You'll definitely experience this in the corporate world. You do a hundred good things and one mistake-guess what? Chances are, your attention will be called on that one mistake.



So what's better than focusing on the negative? Believe me, its focusing on the positive. And if this world could learn to focus on the positive more than the negative, it would be a much nicer place to live in.



Better than working hard



We have always been told to work hard. Our parents say that, our teachers say that, and our principal says that. But there's something better than merely working hard. It's working SMART.



It's taking time to understand the situation, and coming out with an effective and efficient solution to get more done with less time and effort. As the Japanese say, "There's always a better way."



One of the most memorable case studies I came across with as I studied Japanese management at Sophia University in Tokyo was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a box of soap that was empty. It immediately isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty. Management tasked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked

hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast.



But a rank-and-file employee that was posed the same problem came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.



Clearly, the engineers worked hard, but the rank-and-file employee worked smart. So what's better than merely working hard? It's working smart. Having said that, it is still important to work hard. If you could combine both working hard and working smart, you would possess a major factor toward success.



Better than dreaming big



I will bet my next month's salary that many have encouraged you to dream big. Maybe even to reach for the stars and aim high. I sure heard that about a million times right before I graduated from this university. So I did. I did dream big. I did aim high. I did reach for the stars. No doubt, it works. In fact, the saying is true: "If you aim for nothing, that's exactly what you'll hit: nothing."



But there's something better than dreaming big. Believe me, I got shocked myself. And I learned it from the biggest dreamer of all time, Walt Disney.



When it comes to dreaming big, Walt is the man. No bigger dreams were fulfilled than his. Every leadership book describes him as the ultimate dreamer. In fact, the principle of dreaming and achieving is the core message of the Disney hit song, "When You Wish Upon a Star".



"When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are; anything your heart desires will come to you. If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme. When you wish upon a star, as dreamers do," as Jimmy Cricket sang.



But is that what he preached in the Disney company? Dream?



Well, not exactly. Kinda, but not quite. The problem with dreaming is if that's all you do, you'll really get nowhere. In fact, you may just fall asleep and never wake up.



The secret to Disney's success is not just dreaming, it's IMAGINEERING. You won't find this word in a dictionary. It's purely a Disney word. Those who engage in imagineering are called imagineers. The word combines the words "imagination" and "engineering."



In the book "Imagineers," Disney's CEO, Michael Eisner, claims that "imagineers turn impossible dreams into real magic."



Walt Disney explained there is really no secret to their approach. They just keep moving forward-opening new doors and doing new things, because they are curious. And it is this curiosity that leads them down new paths. They always dream, explore and experiment. In short, imagineering is the blending of creative imagination and technical know-how.



Eisner expounds on this thought by saying that "Not only are imagineers curious, they are courageous, outrageous, and their creativity is contagious."



The big difference with imagineers is that they dream and then they DO! So don't just be a dreamer, be an imagineer.



What's better than vision



You must have all been given a lecture at one time or another about the importance of having a vision. Even leadership expert John Maxwell says that an indispensable quality of a leader is to have a vision. The Bible also makes it very clear that "Without vision, people perish." So no doubt about it, having a vision is important to success.



But surprise! There's something more potent than a vision. It's a CAUSE. If all you're doing is trying to reach your vision and you're pitted against someone fighting for a cause, chances are you'll lose.



The Vietnam War is a classic example. Literally with sticks and stones, the Viet Cong beat the heavily armed US Army to surrender, primarily because the US had a vision to win the war, but the Vietnamese were fighting for a cause.



In the realm of business, many leaders have visions of making their company No.1, or grabbing market share, or forever increasing profits.



Nothing really wrong with that vision, but take the example of Sony founder Akio Morita. He did not just have a vision to build the biggest electronics company in the world. In his biography, "Made in Japan," he reveals that the real reason he set up Sony was to help rebuild his country, which had just been battered by war. He had a cause he was fighting for. His vision to be an electronics giant was secondary.



What's the difference bet ween a vision and a cause? Here's what sets them apart... No one is willing to die for a vision. People will die for a cause. You possess a vision. A cause possesses you. A vision lies in your hands. A cause lies in your heart. A vision involves sacrifice. A cause involves the ultimate sacrifice.



Just a word of caution. You must have the right vision, and you must be fighting for the right cause. In the end, right will always win out.



It may take time, and it may take long. But if you have the right vision and are fighting for the right cause, you will prevail. If not, no matter how sincere you are, if you are not fighting for what is right, you will ultimately fail.



the Bible, which says, "To whom much is given, much is required."



Having been given the opportunity to study in UP, no doubt, much has been given to you in terms of an excellent education. Don't forget that in return, much is now required of you to use that education not just for yourself, but for others.



And as you move up and start reaching the pinnacle of success, even more will be required of you to look at the welfare of others, of society and of the country.



A final review:



* What's better than focusing on the negative? Focus on the positive.

* What's better than working hard? It's working smart.

* What's better than dreaming? Imagineering.

* What's better than doing something for yourself? Doing something for your country.

* What's better than a vision? A cause.

* What's better than a long speech? Definitely, a short one.



Thank you and congratulations, UP Diliman graduating class of 2003



"Excellence is not a destination; it is a continuous journey that never

ends."

the subolites

right now, the subolites are in baguio for the org outing and sem planning. it's an all expense paid trip according to the text i received yesterday afternoon, with limited slots only. however, as much as i wanted to as i know i will enjoy it and that i'll be able savor the cool baguio air one last time, and maybe pick up some genuine lengua or two (the last time we bought there, they sucked! whatever happened to the lengua? don't buy any good samaritan product. it's really awful. but i would gladly recommend the ube at tantamco's foods --> i'm not really sure 'bout the name but it sounds close and you'll find their stall coz' it really stands out in the market) before plunging into the abyss of more chemicals and molecular bonding theories and other analyses for another sem in my pretty life. pretty? not quite. more like uneventful. anyway, i hope the guys are enjoying right now. and i wonder what they've planned for the sem. i've never been to any sem planning event yet. but i'm all ears at the next GA. yeah, now i'm gonna be able to attend our GAs. i wanna post the article i made for the Silew, our official newsletter which was given out to the highschool participants of our recently concluded Padunungan 2004 held last NOvember 28-29. i dunno, just for a little self-gratification. heeehee...



***





Becoming a Subolite



After a grueling sem, one thing that makes me feel happy is the fact that I’m now a member of the UP Subol Society. Yes, I just applied the past semester and after all that I’ve been through, I finally attained membership status after undergoing the final rites last October 23.



Just like every organization, an orientation is held so that the person will have an idea about what the organization he wants to apply to is all about. However, I wasn’t able to attend the orientation of UP Subol, and after asking a friend who attended the orientation the things that were discussed, I contacted one of the officers and asked if I could still apply. She said I could and after one of my Geog1 classes, I went to the tambayan to sign my application form, be briefed about the application process and get my copy of the sigsheet. There, I officially became an applicant.



It’s not this year that is the first time that I’ve heard of this organization. In fact, when I was in my third year and fourth year in high school, I participated in the group category of the quiz show they hold during their sembreak. I also learned that some of the alumni from my high school are members of the org. And since I had a cousin studying in UP, my mom and I were speculating when she would join this org.



Then I myself got admitted to the University of the Philippines Diliman. During my first year, joining a provincial organization was not in the list of the things that I wanted to do at that time. My mind was focused on other things. It didn’t even occur to me that I would ever be involved in one, what with my academic load and all other things in between. Yes, I did hear about it every now and then. During my second sem, I had a Chemistry professor who was an alumna of UP Subol and classmates who’re either applicants or members. I wasn’t really expecting this. Then come my second year and I was hurled into a wild ride I was glad I undertook.



Since I already had experience in applying to an organization, I wasn’t really willing to go through the mandatory stuff that applicants do like having the members sign your sigsheet, completing your tambayhours at the org’s tambayanand other stuffs asides. And with the many activities I had to make time for, I wasn’t even sure I could devote enough for my application in UP Subol.



Subolite. That’s what you call a member of the UP Subol Society. My first impression of Subolites is that they’re warm and friendly. I don’t really remember everything that happened when I made my first tambay or who were there at that time. All I remember is that I left the tambayan feeling at home. It’s like I was one of them already. I thought about it afterwards and I reasoned that it was probably because it’s the second org that I’m applying to; or it’s because the members are all friendly and easygoing – just laughing and cracking jokes; or it’s because of the bond that I feel with them because we all come from Pangasinan. But whatever it was, it was a good feeling. And you can’t just shrug off anything that makes you feel good.



Because of my weird schedule, I haven’t been able to make regular appearances at the tambayan unlike my other batchmates. I also hadn’t had a chance to get to know all of my batchmates. I didn’t even know all the original members of the batch nor was I present when my batchmates elected our batch head. And I did miss a lot of GAs.



I could say I met most of my batchmates during the tambayan jazz-up since there were many applicants that day. That was the activity for that day and we were at the receiving end of the wrath of Mr. President, or so they said. Well, some of us cleaned the surrounding area, some redecorated the bulletin board and the others painted the table and chairs marine blue (the color of the paint). The messages and doodles written on the table were finally covered though I think it would have been fun if we could still write on it. Anyway, they’re blue now and blue is the official color of the org.



So with that gathering, I was able to learn stuffs about the rest of my batchmates. I also got the members present to sign my sigsheet which is easily not one of the most creative ones around given my lack of artistic abilities. I was also given a view of the personalities of the members whom I only saw that day.

After the jazz-up, my buddy and I went out for our day-out along with two other members. Being treated to food and learning different things about my buddy, that day was really, really, really okay. I must say this activity of the member and his/her buddy-applicant going out for a day is a really good bonding session and an effective tool for the applicant to feel closer to the org.



A few more tambays and I was beginning to feel quite at home with my co-apps. Now the next thing lined up in our calendars was the talents’ night. This was a difficult task since our schedules wouldn’t allow us to meet for practices. What we were going to do was already planned out and we had scheduled plenty of practices but not everyone would be able to make it. We were having problems about that, especially with the nature of our presentation. Eventually, the night came. We were laughing so much before our presentation started that I was fearing things wouldn’t go well. Well, that didn’t come true for I believe we all left the venue quite satisfied, and if anything, happier than during the rest of the day now that we’ve accomplished it. And what’s more, this time we have been able to really bond as a batch.



The second to the last hurdle before becoming a member is the formal interview. Beforehand, we had to review the constitution and the history of the org. If you must know, that was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life because not only do I have to wear something which I’m not used to wearing, I’m also grilled by the members and it’s no simple Q&A, plus they also made me do various things that I’ve never done before (given that I’m a really shy person). Those have been really long and draining three and a half hours. But I can tell you that was another learning experience not only about the org (there’s always a reason behind everything that the panel asked or did) but also of myself. You’ll be amazed at what you can do under very close scrutiny, and that’s also within sight and earshot of many other people. It also made me realize things that I didn’t take much thought before.



At the final rites last Saturday, Mr. Marjohn Sante, a former UPSS Diliman president, told us that one’s love for the org is not entirely proven by making tambay or being present during the org activities. Pure love is when you feel it in your heart of hearts, so to speak. I know the members really love this org because what they do is driven by their love for the org. Devoting time to the affairs of the org and making sacrifices are not for one-night-stands only, if I may use that comparison. That’s why I’ve come to love this org and the people behind it.



So what makes a Subolite? Apart from being a Pangasinense, it’s the love for the UP Subol Society and its ideals, supported by the camaraderie built from the diverse experiences of the members together.